Splendour In The Grass 2014 - Review

Where do I even start?

It's one thing to review a single-day music festival. It's another thing to review a huge 3 day festival. It's a whole other IMPOSSIBLE thing to review the BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

Okay so maybe that's an overstatement, it wasn't the penultimate best experience ever, but it's pretty darn hard to think of anything that beats it.

We decided to get to the campsite on Wednesday - an idea that was simultaneously genius and blergh - here is a list of PROs and CONs.

PROs

- We managed to get into campsite A, which is the site next to the main entry of the festival

- SO MANY NEW FRAHNDS AND CAMPSITE BUDS

CONs

- Lines. There was a lot of them - just like there was through the whole festival.

- The security were totally clueless, the whole system was scattered (just like they were through the whole festival). One second you'd walk through without being checked and the next time they'd go through every single crevice of every single thing and search for more crevices in the crevices.

- You have to wait 24hrs for actual music - not just someone blasting Beyonce from an ipod dock (was anyone else camped near those people? I swear they didn't stop playing bey for the entire 5 days).

Here's a quick equation in summation:

15 hours of driving + 2 hours of setting up camp + lots of walking = not fun

and another:

1 extra day of camping = more usage of digusting toilets, you're more tired during the festival OH AND DON'T LET ME FORGET: camping FUCKING SUCKS.

One of the more fascinating things I quickly discovered were the "eco-friendly composting toilets" which replaced an old-fashioned flush with a cup full of sawdust - resulting in holes with waste getting eerily close to the top and a potent smell of shit masked with a pathetic waft of cinnamon and sandalwood (yes I understand that could be easily confused with the recipe for a Starbucks drink but you get the drift).

Very heavily debated before the festival was the idea of having a year without snifferdogs, but last minute the police decided to go ahead with puppy patrol - and the results were let's say... interesting. Some lovely people we met (who will remain unnamed) were caught with a lot of drugs when they pulled their car into a parking space and a were caught out by a golden retreiver (I fucking love dogs omg). They were still allowed to attend the festival but had to face court dates and will be slapped with massive fines (and probably community service). They joked about the charges a lot but when the laughs weren't there - they had to face some serious issues. For instance, one guy worried that his parents wouldn't let him live at home any more and another girl worried that she'd loose her job with her new criminal charges.

The best way to sneak drugs into a music festival is to not sneak drugs into a music festival. The drug-taking at Splendour In The Grass was abundant but everyone was walking on a ridiculous tightrope. I think in our lifetime we will see the development of environments built to sustain the health and safety issues that surround the ingesting of recreational drugs and that has been done pretty effectively with alcohol. Instead of suffering some pretty ridiculous consequences right now, wait until that time comes. Plus - no one wants to be the guy passed out in the mud crying do they? BUT THIS IS A REVIEW NOT A POLITICAL DEBATE SO ON WE GO.

Thursday night set off the festivities and everything seemed clean and beautiful. The Smirnoff bar, a huge 2 level party tower, was spick and span - and we sipped on a shitty beer as we overlooked the festival AAAAAAND 2 beers in we decided we were all too tired to party and fell asleep by 9pm #granny.

FRIDAY! HERE WE COME! WE AREN'T TIRED AT ALL (yes we are) AND WE ARE SO READY TO PARTY.

Airling kicked off the Amphitheatre, the biggest stage at the festival which sat at the bottom of a natural, you guessed it, amphitheatre. Hannah Shepherd hails from Brisbane and her lovely voice and chill tunes were lovely to listen to while sitting in the shade (it was VERY hot).

Out of 5: ☆☆☆

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In a misdirected stumble I manage to find the GW McLennan stage just as much-talked about Sydney band, DMA's began to strummer strum their instruments. I didn't really have high expectations, I'd listened through their EP and heard Delete spun on Triple J pleeeeenty of times, but didn't think they'd be anything special. I was wrong. They played with a sort of palpable soul and all of their songs have that great grunt that Delete climaxes to. They're a band that you shouldn't underestimate.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆

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DZ Deathrays played in the crazy mid-day sun, and they were crazy in the midday, son. Their music's never been my cup of chai but their energy was definitely there.

Out of 5: ☆☆

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After some more confused stumbling, we managed to find the Red Bull Music Academy stage/club/thing and Melbourne's own, Japanese Wallpaper played some lovely tunes. I still don't know what's more ridiculous, the beautiful sounds that Gab Strum makes with a few gadgets or the fact that he's 17 AND PLAYING AT SPLENDOUR like what even. Showing us all up are you mate? Good for you. Gab was genuinely lovely though and it was even more lovely when Wafia guested to sing their track Breathe In. Too lovely to handle. LOVELY!

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆

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One can only withstand so much walking so I collapsed for a couple hours but managed to make stand upright enough to watch Asgier. I’d totally forgotten that the Icelandic singer had re-released his album Dýrð í dauðaþögn and in English. I’d only listened to that version so when he started to sing King and Cross in Icelandic, I had this amazing moment of total confusion. I enjoyed many a slow sway.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆

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Ate a burger. Sat down. Walked up a massive hill to get to a bar. Sat down again. These dudes called Outkast came upon the Amphitheatre stage. I don’t know if you’ve heard of them before, I think they won the Triple J Unearthed comp? They’re a very cool local indie band. They played some music I guess. I left after Hey Ya (yes I was one of those people, I apologise).

Out of 5: ☆☆

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ME AT THE END OF DAY 1:

SATURDAY! I’M GOING TO PRETEND MY FEET AREN’T KILLING ME AND TRY TO DANCE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WITH ONLY MY UPPER-BODY!

My biggest Splendour regret is missing Sticky Fingers. I was eating a burger (and boy was it a good one) from a food truck that was behind the Amphitheatre. I saw confetti fly everywhere and only remembered at that very second that Stifi were playing. I ran and ran and only made it to see them saunter off the stage. Apparently they were very good.

Out of 5: ☆

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Sky Ferreira is a powerhouse. I had my first full-out aggressive dance-time during her set and it was glorious. Her pitch faltered during one song but it seemed to be because of technical issues not her inability. Her cool nonchalance was met with bursts of impassioned energy and it was glorious.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆

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Violent Soho played one of the best sets I’ve ever seen them play, and that I’ve ever seen full stop. The D-barrier was closed off and the amount of people jumping over was ridiculous, I don’t think I’ve ever seen security guards look more like lost puppies. Fur Eyes, Jesus Stole My Girlfriend, and of course Covered In Chrome saw the sun set and the night begin. Violent Soho are one of the best live acts coming out of Australia at the moment, they are so-ho good (I couldn’t stop myself, sorry).

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆ and a half

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The food at Splendour was incredible. Yes it was double the price it would be anywhere else, but it was triple, if not quadruple the quality. I didn’t eat a single thing that wasn’t worth every cent. There was a little park of food trucks that’d come from Sydney and Brisbane and GOSH CAN’T EVEN DEAL - I can barely write about it, my hands are shaking (this is why I don’t write about food, I can handle music but not this, this is too much).

Yes I watched 360. Yes I drank absinthe whilst watching him. No I’m not sure if he was good or whether I was just feeling the absinthe. He had plenty of guests but the best was definitely Gossling, who joined him to sing Price Of Fame and Boys Like You. A marvellous end (or at least I think it was, I’m not really sure to be honest).

Out of 5: ☆☆☆ and a half

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I was pretty excited to see Tune Yards but I ended up pretty disappointed. The speed into action was slow, but the beats were as eclectic as you’d expect from New England’s Merrill Garbus. Some technical issues impeded her set and she didn’t really deal with it very well. She continuously pulled away from the mic and made increasingly aggressive gestures - even screaming at one point. We’ve all been there, we’ve all had that day, but on stage at Splendour In The Grass doesn’t seem like the time to be cranky. It was a huge turn-off and made the entire set a little lacklustre.

Out of 5: ☆

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You don’t have my number. We don’t need each other now. FOALS WE DO NEED EACH OTHER, PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER YOU’RE PERFECT! Filling in last minute for Two Door Cinema Club, Foals made the trip over to please our ears, and boy did they do so. A lovely tribute to Two Door was the icing on the cake of my night. Amazing band, amazing live performance 11 out of 10 would recommend #musicjournalism.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆

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I was going to go to bed but I somehow ended up watching City and Colour. Here is everything I knew about Dallas Green:

1. City and Colour = Dallas and Green i.e. his name AW CUTE

2. He used to be in a hardcore band called Alexisonfire

3. He’s now “soft”

4. People quite like him

Again, I indulged in some light swaying, the occasional tear and held my hand on my heart without realising for most of the set. His pitch is so perfectly perfect it’s unnerving, his back up band are so tightly tight it’s unnerving. The whole thing surprised me so much it was, you guessed it, unnerving.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆ and a half

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Then I passed out, in a bed thank god.

SUNDAY!! I’M GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS BED IF IT KILLS ME! EVERY STEP FEELS LIKE KNIVES IN MY FEET AND I’M SUNBURNT AS HELL BUT LETS PRETEND NONE OF THAT IS HAPPENING!!

Brisbane’s The Creases played at the Amphitheatre to the size of audience you’d expect at 12 noon. I’d seen them play a few times before so I knew that wasn’t their best performance ever, I think nerves had got to them and they just seemed a bit tense. It was fun however to shimmy to Static Lines.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆

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SKATERS WOWOW! A while back I got really into their album, Manhattan. I listened to it in full every morning on my trip to work and tried to push it onto every single person I know who had ears. Needless to say, I was very excited to see them. Frontman Michael Ian Cummings sang without an instrument, which is an intriguing thing to see in an indie band these days. He had just the right amount of push and pull to stay interesting but not overdo it. He knew when to step back and when to go nuts and his unerring brilliance made it one of the best sets of the festival. OH YEAH, the rest of the band were also pretty good hey. Jokes aside, they all had a connection that was absolutely incredible to watch let alone listen to.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆ and 3 quarters

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CHRVCHES are one of those bands that are going to be around for quite a while. They’ve built up an amazingly solid following and have a sound that can perfectly cross over into commercial giantess when they reach that unstoppable point of their career. The amphitheatre was PACKED and not a single person wasn’t excited to see Lauren Mayberry take to the microphone. Recover, The Mother We Share and Gun were all heavily grooved along to by yours truly.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆

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The end of a festival is bittersweet. I really never wanted to leave Splendour so during the last few sets I cried on the inside quite a lot, tears that went from joy to sadness and kinda ran between the two for a while. It was an amazing time. I made so many friends, met so many wonderful people and danced way too hard, way too much. By the time Foster The People appeared by inner-tears were still pumping away but god was it fun. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy them at all, but during their set I realised these things:

1.I know more of their songs than just Pumped Up Kicks

2.They have good songs other than Pumped Up Kicks

3. Pumped Up Kicks isn’t really that good of a song

4. Mark Foster is amazing.

Mark was the second best frontman of the entire festival. He would’ve knocked out Michael Ian Cummings of Skaters if there hadn’t been the occasional moment where Mr Foster seemed to be trying too hard. He was fun, he was exciting, he was slightly predictable but who gives a shit this isn’t a thriller movie.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆

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I've got to reveal something to you. I’ve been saving my 5 out of 5. Before the festival I never would’ve thought this’d be the best act, but it blew everyone out of the ball park. It made everyone look like total n00bs. Lily Allen is the most amazing performer I’ve ever seen. Not only did I not realise how many songs of hers I knew (oh and how many massive hits she has), I didn’t realise how funny and lovely she is. He banter was easy and had a brevity that oozed humility and personality. She had the powerhouse of Sky Ferreira with the push and pull of Michael Ian Cummings and the performance skillzz of a total GOD. The Fear, 22, Hard Out Here, the list of wonderful songs goes on and on. It was a killer end to a killer festival and despite my aching feet and sore limbs I danced until I literally fell on the ground.

Out of 5: ☆☆☆☆☆

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Splendour In The Grass is more than just music, it's an experience, and an unforgettable one. Memories will be made, things will be discovered, there's and endless list of things to do and eat and see and people to meet and laughs to have. There's a reason why it's the best festival in the country, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Review by Geneva Valek

Photo from SITG site

#splendourinthegrass #airling #genevavalek #dmas #sitg